Over many days I discovered this great paradox: Those who bore failure in their hearts were able to illuminate the final victory, while those who felt triumphant were left by the wayside, vegetating in their muted and diffuse life. Over many days, coming from the darkest of darkness, I arrived at the light, guided not by teachings but by meditation.
Thus, I told myself on the first day:
- There is no meaning in life if everything ends with death.
- All justification for actions, whether these actions are despicable or admirable, is always a new dream that leaves only emptiness ahead.
- God is something uncertain.
- Faith is something as variable as reason and dreams.
- “What one should do” may be thoroughly discussed, but in the end there is nothing that definitively supports any position.
- The “responsibility” of those who commit themselves to something is no greater than the responsibility of those who do not.
- I move according to my interests, and this makes me neither a coward nor a hero.
- “My interests” neither justify nor discredit anything.
- “My reasons” are no better than the reasons of others, nor are they worse.
- Cruelty horrifies me, but neither because of this nor in itself is it better or worse than kindness.
- What I or others say today is of no value tomorrow.
- To die is not better than to live or never to have been born, but neither is it worse.
- I discovered, not through teachings, but through experience and meditation, that there is no meaning in life if everything ends with death.